Desperation
by Merlinfan26
Summary: Merlin dies in Arthur's arms during a battle. When Merlin dies Arthur snaps, and starts to become cold and uncaring. He sets out ot find a sorcerer. Someone he has heard can bring people back from the dead. But if the sorcerer does, will Merlin be the Merlin Arthur remembers? Character death, Dark Merlin, Merthur whump.


**Please don't hate me for writing a story like this, I just couldn't resist! It's only a little bloody in the begining.**

Everything happened so quickly that Arthur would have a hard time remembering what had happened. The battle was the bloodiest of all the battles he had fought. Colton's men were far more pwerful than he ever imagined. The castle was under siege. The knights of the round table were ahead of him, blocking any entry to the new king, Like always, Merlin was at his side; his own sword ready for use.

And what happened next, Arthur would always painfully remember.

The intruders finally broke into the main hall. The knights were fighting to protect their king, and kingdom, no matter what the cost was. Arthur wasn't about to sit back and do nothing, though. His sword was risen also. In a middle of a duel with Colton himself, Arthur remmebered Merlin shoving Arthur out of the way, and muttering some strange language.

Before Arthur could even think, let alone stop Merlin, he watched-with horror-as he saw Lord Colton drive his sword into Merlin's chest...

It was as if everything went into slow motion after that. The knights stopped for a second, to see their young friend crumble onto the ground. Arthur managed to catch Merlin before he collapsed.

An enraged Gwaine cried out as he ran towards Colton. While Colton was getting his sword out of Merlin's chest, Gwaine had slit his throat.

Silence fell in the room as the leader of the enemy collapsed before them, his sword clattering to the ground.

Everyone stood there, in utter shock. It was Leon who snapped everyone back into reality, calling for more back up of Camelot's knights as they surrounded Colton's men-forcing them to surrender.

While this was happening Arthur continued to hold Merlin, as Merlin gave feeble attempts to gasp for air.

"You stupid, _idiot_," growled Arthur, trying to mask his pain with sarcasm.

"Don't you know stupid, and idiot, mean the same thing?" Grunted Merlin. Arthur rolled his eyes at his manservant's impish grin. "Now who's being the idiot?"

"Why?" Arthur's voice shook. "I was fine. I would have been fine..._why_?"

"Are you really _that_ oblivious to things?" Merlin tried to sit up, but collapsed. "I did it because it was my destiny to protect you." A smile etched on his face. "And I have."

Arthur shook his head.

"Destiny? I don't understand, you're talking nonsense Merlin."

Merlin gave a weak smile.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, not now at least."

Gwaine, Lancelot, Leon, Elyan, and Percival surrounded them.

"I'm having the rest of our men send the enemy into the dungeon to await trial," Leon commented, and Arthur nodded, his main focus still on the young man who had saved his life.

"How is he?" Gwaine asked, worry in his voice.

"HE can still hear you, you know," muttered Merlin.

"His tongue is still in good form," commented Arthur drly, and the men gave weary laughter-in vein hope of Merlin's survival.

"Fine, mate, how are _you _doing?" Gwaine corrected himself gently.

Merlin shrugged and waved his hand in the air.

"Okay. I've been better."

More gentle laughter filled the room.

"I've never see you do something like that before, Gwaine," Merlin added, almost quietly. Gwaine frowned.

"Do what?"

"Kill someone like that. Like you did with Colton."

"Oh." Gwaine lowered his eyes to the ground.

"Will you promise me something?" Merlin looked at him weakly.

"Of course." Gwaine clasped his first real friend's hand.

"Don't kill like that again. Not with rage. I don't want you to become a killer because of me."

Gwaine opened his mouth to protest, but a look from both Merlin and Arthur stopped him.

"Fine, I'll only kill to defend this spoiled princess, and any lovely maidens that need rescueing."

Merlin gave a cheeky grin.

"That's better."

"Here," Arthur finally said. "Let me get Gaius."

Merlin shook his head.

"No." His voice was raspy now and Arthur frowned.

"I'm sorry, I guess you thought that was a _request. _Will it wasn't," he snapped. "We're going to get Gaius." Leon stood up to do just that, but Merlin grabbed him quickly.

"NO," he repeated, with such authority in his tone it shocked everone-even Arthur. "I...you don't get it, Arthur, I don't have much time left-"

"No." Arthur shook his head. "I don't believe it. I'm not going to let you die, not like this." Tears clouded the young king's eyes. "No," he repeated, more firmly.

"Yes," corrected Merlin softly. "And Gaius is needed elsewhere. There are many wounded in Camelot that could actually survive if he helps them. He can't stay here forever, with me. It's not fair to your.." his abrupt coughing interrupted him. "It's not fair to your people, Arthur."

"Goddamn it,Merlin," whispered Arthur. "Why do you have to be so _annoyingly _selfless all the time?"

Merlin smiled sadly.

"Old habits die hard, I suppose."

The knights remained silent, unable to say anything-except for Lancelot.

"Merlin...it's not your time...Why don't you use-"

Merlin glared at him, and Lancelot lapsed into silence.

"It wouldn't work, anyway," mumbled Merlin weakly.

"WHAT wouldn't work?" snapped Arthur.

"Nothing," sighed Merlin. Arthur was about to protest when Merlin grimaced in pain.

"Merlin?" Gwaine asked, sharpness in his voice.

"It's almost time," gasped Merlin. "I don't have much longer, I can feel it..." His body started to shudder.

"Please," Arthur suddenly begged. This momentarily caught his men off guard, for they had never heard their king beg. "Please, I still need you..."

"No you don't." Merlin gave him a sad smile. "You'll do just fine without me. You have Gwen to look out for you, and everyone here. You don't need your old servant."

"You're wrong," whispered Arthur. "So wrong."

"Do me a favor," Merlin said weakly, and Arthur nodded quickly.

"Anything."

"When you get a new servant, don't get a bootlicker;okay? Get someone that'll keep you on your toes. It'll be good for your self esteem."

Arthur choked back a grin.

"I promise." He shook his head. "I don't think I'll get another servant."

"Oh please," scoffed Merlin. "You'll need someone to dress you."

"And that someone's _not _going to me be," growled Gwaine.

Merlin gave a soft laugh.

It was good to hear him laugh, one more time. Gwaine was always good at making people laugh.

"And another thing...one more thing..."

Arthur nodded, and swallowed. He was dangerously close to crying.

"Thank...you." Merlin whispered.

When Arthur started to ask what that meant he stared, all of them did, as Merlin's young body suddenly shuddered, and then go limp- and so did the hand that Arthur was gripping.

Slowly Arthur rested both of Merlin's hands onto his chest, and laid the now dead body of his best friend onto the floor.

Silence filled the room as the knights stared, trying to process what had just happened.

Arthur also stared, his eyes hiding his emotions.

Finally he spoke, his voice strained-trying too hard not to waver.

"You're welcome, my old friend."


End file.
